Women for Women

I've been away from blogging for a bit, but I don't think I'm giving up on this yet. I think a lot about what I'd like to talk about in a blogspace, and I'm getting to a point where it's fair to say I read a number of blogs. I stopped blogging because as I finished my second to last post, back in June, or something, the man I had just started seeing walked into Sparky's, the little coffeeshop where I used to like to write, and I sped up my typing in an effort to close the laptop before he could get a glimpse of my Blog name. I didn't want him to see it. I wanted to be able to write about him, and us, and who I am when we share space.

Well...he saw the page, I stopped blogging for fear he was reading, and I haven't had the time or the space to blog for awhile. Except as of Monday, there's no more blogging about him, because I finally ended what should have been taken care of months ago, probably. He was a lot of fun, though, so I let it go for a bit longer than I should have. He won't be checking this page anymore, though (I doubt it would have even occurred to him, actually)...so I guess I'm back.

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Earlier this evening as I headed out of work, I contemplated staying late in order to attend a talk being given in my building's auditorium. The talk was in regards to a book released this past week called, "The Other Side of War: Women's Stories of Survival and Hope," and was authored by Zainab Salbi, co-founder of Women for Women International.

As I was leaving I ran into a fellow intern and a new hire, both of whom were planning on attending the talk, and got dinner with them instead.

I'm so glad I did.

One of my favorite things about living in Washington is having the opportunity to attend lectures much as I did in college, and to leave afterwards much as I did in college - mouth agape, heart in my throat, wondering if I'll ever live up to my own expectations, wondering if I'm even really living, or living my life right, at all.

The first thing I noticed at the talk tonight was all the hair. I entered after the event had begun and sat in the back, and ahead of me was a sea of hair of all types, black and brown and one shocking white and curly, a little old lady hunched down in her seat. Women of every color and type, including every type of hair. It's always so beautiful to see women gathered together in support of something bigger than, outside of themselves, coming to learn from and listen to the stories of other women who have suffered, but found strength despite that suffering.

In noticing hair, however, I also observed a notable lack of men's hair. Maybe I'm oversimplifying a bit, but doesn't it seem strange that most men don't see fit to prioritize events that feature women? "But it doesn't pertain to them," some argue. "It's an event especially for women." Right.

Because women's suffering, and survival, is a women's issue, not a human issue. And because genocide is a woman's issue, and rape, that most terrifying of all tools of war, is just a woman's issue. Right, right. I forgot.

I have a friend, a male friend, who doesn't like the term "feminist." One night we got into a heated discussion about why I call myself a feminist, and why I call him a feminist. I don't hate men (he clearly knows that, being one himself), so he couldn't understand why I'd claim the term. You're not a "feminist," he said. You're a "humanist. You believe in egalitarianism."

Well, no kidding.

To which I replied, "no, see, that's just it. Feminism fights for equality. It is about equality. It's just that women actually have to fight, daily, just to be treated equally. that's why I'm a feminist. I believe women should be treated equally to men."

Now for the topic at hand. Women's experiences are considered a feminist topic - women as victims of torture, or of rape, or as making up approximately 80% of refugee camps, are considered to be a women's issue. But just because the stories are of the experiences of women, and are spoken from women's hearts, with women's words, does not make the topic of women and war a feminist issue. Women's experiences surving genocide and war tell a story about humanity, and oftentimes a lack thereof. It is a humanist issue - it is a human (and human rights) issue.